SALLY: I so agree with you. Since teens
are moving toward adulthood, they need a
bigger arena—jobs, responsibilities, and
apprenticeships. Some of the activities of
our kids’ high school years, which helped
us to keep them away from worldliness,
were what I call “positive peer pressure
groups.” They were involved in a once-a-week dinner and discussion using a worldview course. Great fellowship and fun was
shared during these times. A friend and I
took our children on three different 5,000-
mile trips with her children and mine all
piled into one car. We listened to books on
tape, trudged battlefields, went to historic
sites, hiked, stayed with families, and had
rousing adventures as we explored many
educational sites.
Clay and I determined that as each child
turned 15, we would take him or her on a
trip to the European places where he and I
had ministered. We had to work way ahead
of time to get our other children settled
with friends and relatives so that they
would be well taken care of at home, but
the time invested in all of their lives has
been wonderful.
Clay took the boys every Tuesday night
for a boys’ night out—dinner and time
together, often at Barnes and Noble®
discussing the great issues of life over
coffee. He also took them to summer projects of their interest. I took Sarah with me
when I was asked to speak in Congress.
Our children also worked at all of our
conferences, ran some of them by themselves, worked in office jobs, and developed their skills working with people.
Teens need to have activities and jobs and
people in their lives. Working and making
their own money has given them ownership of their lives.
TOS: In our ministry in Mexico, because of
the language barrier, my teenage daughter’s
social interactions are limited. How much of
a social life do teenagers need?
SALLY: In our home, each child was
different, but I think that all teens need
other people. If it is our goal to send our
children back into the world as lights when
they become adults, then we need to be
gently broadening their horizons while we
are by their sides, so that we can help them
find their way. I think it is important for
parents to understand that in this culture at
this time, being a young adult who was
homeschooled can be very lonely. The
morals and spiritual values of our culture
have robbed the hearts of many teens and
left them with many scars. Social needs
can be met through many different venues.
Sarah, our oldest daughter, has found great
fulfillment by becoming a leader in our
local church, where she mentors teens
through a Bible study. Though her background is very different than those of the
young girls she works with, she loves
giving them the light of the Lord, personal
attention, and hope. As long as our teens
have people who enjoy them and can spend
time with them, they don’t have to be part
of a group.
During the teen years, I had a mother-daughter dinner group and Bible study for
Sarah twice a month at our house. For a
couple of years our boys had a couple of
families of boys they were close to, so we
would have movie nights with pizza and
sleepovers. The kids would have rousing
games of Capture the Flag on the mountain, make movies, and have stimulating
discussions. Making the time and place for
it was important. It is very important for
moms and dads to understand that kids are
not being rebellious because they want
other friends. Praying for creative solutions
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