The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

chance at freedom from his overbearing and often disappointed parents? Thus, a few months later, I bid my impertinent teenager farewell. He and his cousin (and another homeschooler) set off with backpacks, rail passes, a tentative schedule, and a slim budget to explore Europe.

It took a lot of faith to let him go. I had to believe that God would be there for him, protecting and providing for his needs. And I knew that if I didn’t let him go, it would be a long time before he learned to stand on his own two feet and take his life and future seriously. What I didn’t anticipate was how much this experience would mature him.

Two months later, when he came home, he was different, grateful, settled in ways I didn’t expect. He wasn’t perfect. But of course, who but Jesus is? He still teased his little sister, but not as much. He still didn’t give his very best to his school work, but he did it without my pestering, or even my involvement. However, the most valuable thing he gained was perspective. He knew, deep in his soul, who he was and where he stood in the world. He understood the world with a wisdom he couldn’t have gained in any other way. He became a man.

I’d like to share some of the ways he grew.

Independence and Responsibility

His time alone, with no one controlling his
schedule, his actions, his choices, taught
him to be completely responsible for him-
self, his life, and his future. He now took
those things seriously. Missing trains, get-
ting on the wrong train, running out of
money for food, having his phone stolen
by pickpockets, learning to spot a street
scammer, avoiding trouble, finding a hostel
in a city that had no English signs and few
people who spoke his language, all while
living out of a backpack, was a far cry from
his former life of ease. But these things built
within him a stronger sense of self-reliance,
responsibility, and independence.

One night, I learned that he shirked his cousin one evening, then got lost on his way back to his hostel. Because the streets were empty of people and the stores closed, he spent the night on a city bench. His cousin didn’t know as she was staying on the girl’s side of the hostel. I didn’t hear the tale until he returned home. Yet, this kind of mistake, this trial, propelled him into maturity by fire. He learned the hard way that he was the only one responsible for himself. He knew that he alone would suffer if he made irresponsible choices or wasn’t paying attention. Ah, yes, life was quite different outside of the cozy little nest I’d made for him.

Although he’d long asserted his independence by refusing my efforts to manage his life, this journey created a different kind of independence: a responsible independence. An independence that is rooted in the knowledge that his life, his choices, and the outcomes are his and his alone. It’s his life to win or lose. He had grown into a person that wanted and needed to reign over his future. He did not need me to manage www.TheOldSchoolhouse.com