38;September-October;2014;•;His;Joyful;Homeschooler;www.TheOldSchoolhouse.com
Ipulled onto the highway and ac- celerated as I merged into traffic. A;Honda;CRV;passed;me;and;sud- denly a lump built in my throat and
I was surprised by the sudden emptiness
in my heart. I had just said goodbye to
my;son;and;watched;his;CRV;pass;me
as he headed back to his apartment and
I started my trip back home to Texas. I
fought back the tears and tried to focus
on driving and maneuvering my way
across;Oklahoma;City,;but;once;I;was;on
the;open;highway,;I;found;myself;alone
with my thoughts and struggling with
an empty heartache. My son had lived in
Oklahoma;for;almost;two;years,;but;this
was my first trip to visit him alone with-
out his siblings. It was also my first trip to
visit my daughter since her wedding. Her
new home was on the way to Oklahoma
City;and;I;would;see;her;again;on;my;way
home. As I stared out at the long stretch
of;open;road;ahead;of;me,;I;wondered,
“Does every mama’s heart ache every
time she leaves her children or is this the
heartache;of;a;changing;season?”
I thought about the summer my chil-
dren and I took a ten day vacation and
traveled to Arizona to see the Grand
Canyon;and;then;back;through;the;Gua-
dalupe Mountains of New Mexico. My
son,;Jerrod,;had;just;received;his;driver’s
license that year and he enjoyed taking
his;turn;driving.;My;youngest,;and;my
only;daughter,;was;thirteen;but;would
celebrate her fourteenth birthday before
summer was gone. On the way home
from that trip I remember battling the
same empty feeling as I realized my chil-
dren were all teenagers and no longer
little. It was true that my boys had been
teens;for;a;few;years,;but;the;reality;that;a
season in my life had passed and another
lay ahead didn’t really occur to me until
that trip.
As;I;drove;on;in;silence,;my;thoughts
wondered even further back as I remembered the day when my last baby took
When;The;Season;Changes
I found myself alone with my thoughts and struggling with an empty heartache.
