was to help wives learn to see the all-too-common way many live out their mar-riages.;It’s;easy;to;get;caught;up;in;the;oh-so-daily;“he;does;his;thing;;I;do;mine”
mentality.
But;what;happens;if;you;put;the;tiniest
degree of separation between these two
parallel;lines?;Before;you;know;it,;there;is
a chasm that is too wide to bridge. Marriages suffer when we live parallel lives.
So what can we do?
Purpose;to;live;the;opposite;kind;of
life with your husband. Live entwined
lives instead of parallel lives. Draw those
lines in toward each other through
shared dreams and purposeful interac-
tion. Spend time alone together. Nurture
emotional and physical intimacy in your
marriage.;Pursue;the;Lord;together.
Your marriage should look like that
cord;of;three;strands;that;Solomon;talks
about;in;Ecclesiastes;4:12:;“. . . a threefold
cord is not quickly broken.”;Unlike;parallel
lines,;this;“cord”;of;three;strands;winds
itself tightly together: a husband, a wife,
and the Lord Jesus.
Entwined marriages are built to last.
3. Your spouse can make you truly
happy.
Well, if you have been married for very
long,;you;have;figured;out;that;this;is;a
myth. Funny thing about it, though—even
though;we;know;in;our;minds;that;this;is
true,;we;place;this;“happiness;burden”;on
our;husbands;in;many;ways.;It’s;a;burden
neither spouse was designed to carry.
• We’re unhappy with the amount of
time;he;spends;at;work.
•;We;complain;about;his;lack;of;interac-tion with the children.
•;We;wish;he;would;show;more;of;an;in-terest in our homeschool.
It’s;sneaky,;this;one.;Even;though;we
know;that;our;happiness;does;not;de-pend;on;him,;we;can;easily;look;to;him
for;it.;As;Christians,;we;know;where;our
hope and happiness is found. It comes
from a growing relationship with the
Lord. Spend time with the Lord, precious
mom. Allow Him to meet with you every
morning.;Ask;Him;to;fill;you;up.;He;can,
and He will.
Just as you nurture your children out
of;the;overflow;of;a;happy;marriage,;you
must nurture your marriage from the
overflow;of;a;growing;relationship;with
the Lord. Healthy marriages involve two
people;who;make;each;other;happy;by
being, not by doing. Of course the “
do-ing”;is;important,;but;be;careful;not;to
derive your happiness solely from your
spouse.;That’s;a;burden;we;were;not;de-signed to carry.
4. Physical Intimacy isn’t that
important.
I sure wish more homeschool moms were
talking;about;this—because;I;can;promise
you,;your;husbands;want;to;talk;about;it.
Being tired and stressed can make
physical intimacy a rare commodity in
many;homeschool;marriages.;It’s;easy;to
make;excuses,;and;suddenly;a;week;can
become a month or more as we grow fur-ther;apart;as;a;couple.;It’s;important;to
set aside time for intimacy; schedule it if
you have to. The enemy can drive a deep
wedge between you and your spouse as
you drift further and further apart be-cause;your;lives;are;too;harried;to;make
time for physical intimacy. Make it a
priority in your marriage to nurture the
physical intimacy that reunites two into
“one;flesh”;on;a;regular;basis.
Satan;knows;that;this;is;a;very;easy
place for him to drive a wedge between a
husband;and;wife.;After;all,;we’re;moms!
As a mother of seven, I can assure you,
there have been many times when this
was the farthest thing from my mind.
And;yet,;in;nearly;twenty-five;years;of
marriage,;I;rarely;find;it;is;the;last;thing
on;my;husband’s;mind!
When I purpose to meet his needs in
this tender area of our marriage, barriers
between;us;fall;away.;Physical;intimacy;is
designed;for;much;more;than;making;ba-bies! It is a respite from the world, a safe
place for a husband and wife to come and
truly find intimacy and refreshment. It
strengthens;our;relationship.;It’s;as;simple
as that. Try committing to nurturing this
part;of;your;marriage;and;see;if;it;doesn’t
strengthen;it.;It’s;almost;guaranteed!
5. Your marriage is immune to the
possibility of divorce.
This is the most damaging of all the
myths: the belief that somehow, home-schooling or church or even our faith will
keep;us;from;the;pain;and;sorrow;that
divorce;inflicts;on;families.;How;many
times have you heard someone say, “Oh,
that will never;happen;to;me!”;only;to;see
it;happen?;When;we;make;assumptions
on;such;a;grand;scale,;it’s;really;pride;at
the;root,;isn’t;it?
Pride;is;the;biggest;thief;of;all.;Pride
will steal your joy, one tiny decision at a
time.;How;often;has;pride;kept;us;from:
•;Saying;“I’m;sorry,;I;was;wrong.”
•;Being;the;first;one;to;move;toward;for-
giveness.
•;Recognizing;our;own;faults.
•;Seeing;what;we;have.
•;Asking;the;difficult;questions.
•;Seeking;help.
•;Not;enjoying;our;bodies;as;husband
and wife.
Identifying these myths—and then
actively guarding your heart against believing them, even for a moment, will
help;you;take;a;huge;step;toward;bring-ing;joy;back;into;your;marriage.;Love
your husband, busy moms! Strengthen
your;marriage.;It’s;worth;it.
Heidi St. John has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have
seven children from toddler to adult and
have homeschooled all the way through
high school. A favorite conference and radio speaker, Heidi approaches marriage
and parenting with humor and grace. Her
passion to encourage moms and set them
free to be who God has created them to be
will bless and encourage you.
Healthy marriages
involve two people who
make;each;other;happy
by being, not by doing.
