What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way? But they held their
peace: for by the way they had disputed
among themselves, who should be the
greatest. And he sat down, and called the
twelve, and saith unto them, If any man
desire to be first, the same shall be last of
all, and servant of all.” (Mark 9: 33–37)
That portrays a different style of leadership, doesn’t it? Jesus says it’s less about
taking charge and more about serving
others.
The New York Yankees’
great catcher Yogi
Berra was famous for
his malapropisms. One
of my favorite Yogi
quotes came from a
1979 Sports Illustrated article. Berra
summed up the game of baseball as only
Yogi could: “Ninety percent of this game is
half mental,” said Berra.
If Yogi had been a homeschool father he
might have made the same observation:
“Ninety percent of being a homeschool
dad is half mental.”
Oh, don’t misunderstand. There’s lots
of physical work in being a successful
homeschool dad. It begins with being the
primary or sole breadwinner, often
working overtime or holding down a
second part-time job in order to make ends
meet in today’s difficult economy. And
then there’s the building of bookshelves,
dragging home 70-pound sets of used
encyclopedias, and driving the family on
Saturday field trips.
The most important contribution a
homeschool father can make is usually
less physical and more mental, emotional,
and spiritual. If
you’re able to help
teach calculus or
chemistry, that will
be a blessing. But
what your wife and
children need most
from you isn’t
another teacher, but
rather an encourager and leader.
In Christian
circles, leadership
is a word that is
frequently misunderstood today. We have confused the
world’s definition of leadership with the
Bible’s definition. We all too often think of
Arnold Schwarzenegger as the take-action
leader who bends the world to his will. In
homeschooling families, I’ve seen far too
many “Terminators” and “Rambos” laying
down the law to wives and children in no
uncertain terms.
The Bible paints a very different
picture. Perhaps you remember the story
of Jesus and the disciples, found in Mark,
chapter 9: “And he came to Capernaum:
and being in the house he asked them,
So what does it look like to become a
servant homeschool father? How do you
master the 90 percent of the game that’s
“half mental”?
Let me offer these three simple principles: stop, look, and listen.
When you walk into the house I know
you’re anxious to see if the economic stimulus refund check arrived, to check the
bills in today’s mail, and to turn on ESPN.
But take a few minutes to stop, look, and
listen.
Stop in front of your wife first of all.
Look into her eyes and ask her how her
day went. Then listen as she tells you.
Nothing else you can do will impart as
much life as simply demonstrating that
you care and are interested in her homeschooling day.
She’s been locked
up all day without
adult companionship and she needs
your attention. She
needs to know that
what she’s doing
actually matters—
and that you
sincerely appreciate her sacrifices
today.
What your wife and
children need most
from you isn’t
another teacher,
but rather an
encourager
and leader.
Avoid the temptation to look past
her at the pile of bills on the table. Maintain
eye contact and listen as she tells you about
her day. She may share with you some of
her problems and frustrations. Just listen.
She’s not expecting you to solve all of
those problems. She simply wants to share
them with someone who cares.
Now take time to stop each of your children and look at the work they’ve done
today in school. Ask them about their work
and then listen as they tell you about it.
Remain focused and take an interest.
Nothing motivates a child more than to
know that the work he or she is doing each
