“Dad, what does *!$&#! mean?” My son’s pronunciation of the crude sexual term
even at 10 years old was flawless. I kept my
eyes on the road, driving as though he had
asked how ice cubes are made. I took a deep
breath and asked a few questions to give
myself time to think of a good reply. He answered in brief. Then I provided him all the
details, including a Biblical perspective.
This is not a question I would have asked
my dad. Shame, a dark cloud, even anger,
would come with asking about much less.
No, not safe.
Safety. Trust. These are characteristics I
wanted my son to see in me. Ask anything.
It will be okay. Don’t ask Google. Don’t ask
your friends. Your mom and I are here, and
we’ll always tell you the truth to the best of
Today, most moms and dads are bet-
ter prepared to talk about sex than their
parents, but much more is required of us
because our culture is forcing sexual mes-
sages at them. It’s not just words either. De-
pending on the study, the average age for
kids to be exposed to pornography is bet-
ween the ages of 9 and 12.
Between 9 and 12 . . . that’s the average.
That means a lot of kids who are younger are
seeing porn too. Many kids are going from
total innocence to hard-core-you-can’t-even-imagine porn. It happened to my son.
He was just 8, when another 8-year-old boy
showed him porn on an iPod. This friend
came from a Christian home and didn’t
even have wifi because his parents wanted
to protect him.
Today, the refrain is, “It’s not if a child
will see porn, but when.”
Parents rightfully want to preserve a
child’s innocence, but knowledge about
sexuality doesn’t harm their innocence. In
fact, it can help preserve it. Many parents
fear providing information about sex to
their children will make them curious. But
every kid is curious, and not talking about it
leaves our children unprepared. God crea-
ted sex and he made it to be good. Our job
as Christian parents is to teach our children
God’s plan for sex, even when our culture
seeks to warp that design.
Obviously, this topic is bigger than one
article, but here are basic tips and great resources to help you parent well in a sexualized culture.
Fight False Security
Fight the voice in your head that says, “This
won’t happen to my child.” No parent plans
for their child to be exposed to sexual content. It just happens . . . often when least expected. Be on guard.
Learn now, grow now, and plan how you
will talk to your kids. Procrastination destroys good intentions. You’ll be tempted
Sheltering the Home
Safety. Trust. These are characteristics I wanted my son to see in me.
by Sam Black