The Relational Homeschooler
Diana Waring
Living inLiberty
Freedom in relationships—the amazing impact freedom brings to relationships—that’s where we are going in this column, but we have
to start with a brief history lesson from Russia. When we talk about a family “living in
liberty,” questions inevitably arise concerning parental—or even church—authority.
So, before the questions begin, consider a
real-life example of what can happen when
authority and freedom collide outside the
bounds of love.
In the 1800s, an ancient political theory known as anarchy—“an absence of
government and the absolute freedom
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of the individual”—became popular, especially in Russia. Believing that authority and freedom could not peacefully
coexist, and given the brutal conditions
of life under the tsar, many Russian anarchists chose to use violence against
rulers in their attempt to gain political
freedom during an authoritarian age.
It is fascinating to note that the tutor of
Tsar Alexander III viewed the Western
form of political liberty (defined as “free
from oppressive restrictions imposed by
authority on one’s way of life, behavior,
The challenge we each
face is to discover
the middle ground:
appropriate liberty for
our children with an
appropriate authority for
us as their parents . . . .
or political views”) as dangerous!1 The
end result of the rising tensions between
individuals and groups who were seeking
“freedom” and authoritarian rulers who
were keeping “control” of the masses was
the destabilization of Russia, a major factor in the overthrow of the tsar and the
success of the October Revolution by
communists in 1917.
Assuming that you do not reign as
a tsar in your home, your children are
probably not going to seek the absolute
freedom of anarchy! On the other hand,
if your children are “born free and running wild,” will they discover the safety
and joy that come from a Biblical model
of parental authority? The challenge
we each face is to discover the middle
ground: appropriate liberty for our children with an appropriate authority for us
as their parents—and to develop both of
these with 1 Corinthians 13-style love.
To help with the discovery process,
here’s a bit of our story—lessons learned
in the homeschool “of hard knocks.”
As a young parent, having never been
around children much, I was astonished
by all the ways my kids could find to
upset my apple cart. From accidentally
breaking a hand-thrown bowl (my one
victory in a semester of learning how
to use a potter’s wheel) to intentionally
leaving a mess in the kitchen, from arguing over whose turn it was to sit in
the front seat to criticizing each other’s
singing, the number of things that could
go wrong when kids were involved was
mind-boggling. So, being the mom in a
